What's Wrong With You?

John 10:10 ~ The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].

I was single until I was 38 years old. I got soooo many questions and opinions when I was single. “Why are you so picky?” “If you would just settle for what you can get, you’d be married by now.” “You know your clock is ticking.” “What’s wrong with you, that you can’t find a man?” I struggled a great deal with those questions and opinions in my own thoughts as well. I fought depression when I was single because of those thoughts. A part of me knew God was keeping me single for His purpose, but part of me kept thinking, “Why am I unlovable?” The enemy used those thoughts to hold me captive in depression for many years. I now know, looking back over it all, that I was not ready to love or be loved. I had so many issues with trust that there was no way I could have allowed a man in my life, past the walls that I had built. I remember the year I was living in Panama as a deeply, transforming time. God had to bring me to a place of total isolation to force me to realize two things: 1. I wanted to be loved and married 2. I had to tear down my self-protective walls in order to allow number 1 to happen. It was a fight that I DO NOT ever want to repeat. The protection I had built for myself was so much a part of me that it felt as if God was stripping away my flesh. Once I got to the other side of that transformation, I met my husband and was married so fast it made everyone’s head spin around and say, “Wait, what just happened?!?” This man God blessed me with knew exactly, almost miraculously, how to love me. I am selfish, needy, whiney, and require constant validation of his love for me. He puts up with all of it and constantly reminds me that I am loved.

This is the God that we serve. He sees our heartaches, misery, and walls we build for protection and orchestrates our lives to a point that gives us the opportunity to deal with them. Those of us that have fought our way through that process, are on the other side as cheerleaders. We are jumping up and down yelling, “Fight your way through. The freedom and joy on the other side is so worth the pain in the journey!” Your walls may not have kept you single for 38 years. Maybe your walls cause you to not have close friends or family. Maybe your walls cause you to keep everyone at a distance, including your spouse. Whatever your walls may keep you from in your life, that’s not how God intends us to live.

______________________________________________________________

He wants us to live life wide open with love, joy, and peace!

That is the abundant life His word tells us is ours for the taking.

______________________________________________________________

I know this is not a very flattering picture. It shows my double chins in all their glory. However, when I think about the love this man has brought me, I think of the joy that is represented in this photo. Those of you that know us, can hear our laughter in your minds when you look at this picture. People tell us we are perfectly matched because we both have very loud, distinctive laughs, which we love to use every day. I will be eternally grateful to my loving Savior for pushing me through the valley and tearing down the walls that led me to this man. I can almost see you rolling your eyes. No, he’s not perfect. We’re not perfect. We drive each other crazy like all other married couples, but the joy outweighs the annoyance…most days!