What if He says “No”?

I really love to pray for people, out loud. When someone asks me to pray, I’m the type that says, ok let’s pray right now. I don’t care where you are or where I am. I have friends that tell people, don’t call Christy and ask her to pray while you’re driving. She’ll pray right then, and you automatically close your eyes and that’s not a good thing!

Prayer is power, it is connection to the God that created everything, and it brings a comfort that nothing else can even come close to providing. However, sometimes prayer is painful. Especially those prayers you’ve been praying for years and you still do not see God moving that mountain even one inch. One of my prayers that I prayed for years was physically having my own children. I grew up like every other red-blooded American girl, I wanted a family, I wanted children to love on and to love me back. By the time God opened the door for my family, I was pretty much past the point of starting from scratch and my husband being 13 years old than me was beyond that point. I was extremely grateful for the stepdaughter that God blessed me with, but it took me a while to come to terms with the idea that I would not physically have my own children. I am going to be honest with you, I mourned that loss. I went through the gamut of emotions, from denial, to anger, to asking God why 10,000 times. I was beyond disappointed. My heart was broken. It was different than other heartbreaks I had dealt with because I struggled with the idea that God had caused this one. My logical side knew that wasn’t true, but the emotional side was winning the battle. Let’s face it, as women, the emotional side usually wins.

That was a bit of a rough patch for my family. We were trying to make the family God had patched together for us work and I was in the middle of a spiritual crisis with the one person I had always turned to for guidance. However, I am yet again on the other side of a heartbreak and stand in amazement that we all made it through not wholly unscathed but made whole non the less. Thinking what all I put my husband and stepdaughter through during that time, I’m amazed they stuck around.

I know we can all think of a prayer, maybe not as dramatically as I recalled this one, but a prayer that broke your heart a bit when God said no. How do we come to terms with Him denying a prayer that we are so desperate for Him to answer? I wish I had a long drawn out theological answer, with steps and diagrams. However, there really is only one answer. Trust. Do you trust Him no matter what? That is what it boils down to. Do you trust Him when it doesn’t make sense? Do you trust Him when your heart hurts so much you wished it could be taken out of your chest? Do you trust Him?

When you look at the Lord’s prayer, “Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.” Do you really mean that when you say the prayer? I know I am very guilty of just mouthing those words and not really meaning, ‘Ok God, whatever your will is, do it.” That is as scary a prayer as asking God for patience. However, that is what I’ve learned from my unanswered prayer. I have learned that no matter what, God wants me to trust His will for my life. I don’t always have to be happy, skippy and joy filled about it, but He does want me to trust He knows best, and His plans are perfect.