Addiction or Curse

Galatians 3:13-14 (The Message) ~ Christ redeemed us from that self-defeating, cursed life by absorbing it completely into himself. Do you remember the Scripture that says, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”? That is what happened when Jesus was nailed to the cross: He became a curse, and at the same time dissolved the curse.

This is a deeply personal subject that I have been very hesitant to tackle. There is an old adage that states that the first step to overcoming something is admitting you have a problem. I’ve admitted to myself I have a problem, but I have not wanted to admit it to anyone else. I am addicted to food. That is a weird statement to me, because we need food to survive. How can that be an addiction? The food that I’m addicted to is NOT what I need to survive. I am addicted to everything sugary, sweet, and fattening. I used to think I overly consumed it to express every emotion I had, like sadness, anxiety, joy, etc. However, I think it’s more than that. I crave junk food, I’m assuming, the way a drug addict craves drugs. It’s not even about emotion for me anymore. It’s a habit that no matter how hard I try, I cannot overcome. It has been affecting my health for several years now. I’ve seen doctors that do little more than make me feel bad about myself. I know they think, "It’s not that hard. Just stop eating those foods.” I went to one doctor after I had lost about 20-30 pounds once, and he told me, “I’m glad to see you lost some weight. I don’t EVER want to see you up to that weight again!” It’s very easy for people to judge something in which they have never had to struggle with themselves. I know I’m guilty of it. I don’t understand addiction to drugs or alcohol, and I have passed judgement on those that have issues with such things.

The worst part is what it is hindering me from doing for God. The lack of obedience alone is cause enough for God not to allow me to move forward with the plans He wants me to be a part of, but the biggest issue is that I’m not healthy enough to do the things He is asking me to do. That idea is the most heartbreaking thought I’m dealing with at the moment. There are people that only I can reach. There are people that God has planned for me to help. There is ministry that He is waiting to bless me with, and I can’t move past this issue to allow it to happen. Even as I write this, there is pain in my heart, and I am fighting back tears. I have fought God on writing about this subject mainly because it’s forcing me to face the ugly truth. My weakness, disobedience, and selfishness are hindering God’s work in my life. I have borne my soul quite a bit on this blog, but mainly on issues that I have overcome or heartaches that God has healed. It’s MUCH easier to write about something on the victory side.

I poured out my spirit to God in my journal recently, begging Him to help me figure out how to overcome this problem. What I feel He revealed to me is even more personal than admitting my addiction to food. He spoke to me about the generational curse of depression in my family. I know that terminology may sound weird to some people, however, I do believe we pass down negative things to our children. Obviously not on purpose, but when someone is exposed to something like depression, it can and will become a problem for them. Depression is something I have dealt with most of my life. Most people are surprised when I tell them about my struggles with this, because they only see the happy go lucky public Christy. It’s not only about obedience for me, it’s about fully breaking the generational curse.

I went in search of scripture to help me work through this thought of breaking curses and found Galatians 3:13-14. I have recently discovered a love for The Message translations. I was leery of it when it first came out, and I’m not sure it would ever be the only translation I read, but it has brought out concepts in scripture that never occurred to me before now. This passage was particularly eye opening to me. The scripture says, “Christ redeemed us from that self-defeating, cursed life by absorbing it completely into himself.” It also says, “and at the same time dissolved the curse.” When I see that, I am overwhelmed at the idea that Christ absorbed my cursed life and dissolved it at the same time. The curse that I carry around with me does not have to be mine. I can allow God to take it through obedience and by taking it He dissolves it. This curse of depression and addiction does not have to be a burden I carry!

After God revealed this truth to me through this scripture, I asked Him, “Ok, so how do I cement that in my life so that the next time that voice tells me I need those sugary, sweet, fattening foods, I can say no? How do I win the battle in my mind and body?” His answer? “Memorize this….”

● Christ absorbed my curse and dissolved it at the same time. Galatians 3:13-14

● I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me. Romans 8:37

● Winning the battle of your mind starts with daily communion with God!

Again, it boils down to obedience. To stand victorious in my battle against this curse that keeps trying to pull me backwards into defeat is the obedience of spending time with God. I am very guilty of the laziness of not spending daily, quality time with God. However, I know, even as I ignore that necessity, quality time with God is the only way I can be victorious over my curses. As I mentioned, this is a deeply personal revelation for me. I’m in the middle of the struggle and not sure how or when I will be able to stand victorious on the other side. My prayer is that God will never stop pursuing this issue in my life. I pray that He continues to push me toward the place of releasing this curse once and for all! So maybe I can write another blog in the future on the victory side!! 😊